Just made it to a hotel in New Mexico, half way to my dream of living in Cali. I really cant believe its finally happening, all the waiting, and working is finally paying off! I finally got my ass into gear to achieve my dreams. Moving to Cali is only the first off my list. It feels so good to check something off and stop making excuses for why i cant get there! BECAUSE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO! So excited to start over, to start my future and meet new people.
strawberriesandvagina asked: You think so?
Anonymous asked: Not a question but I had to say you are beautiful.
well that is very kind of you <3 thank you
i prayed for him to love me, like i loved him. That unconditional love, where you care more about the other person more then yourself. Maybe im cursed because its who I am, but ive found a way to cover it up, but covering it up only makes it worse. Ive been trying to heal in the worst ways. Ive partied and pushed everything away so much so i wouldn’t have to think about life and about myself. I put my whole heart into something that didnt even mean much to you. I feel like when youre really in love that persont they will follow you anywhere. Colby didnt. I felt as if i wasnt good enough, as if he didnt love me. I feel like are relationship only meant sex sometimes to him. When did sex become more important then emotions. i want to be best friends with the person im with. I want to share every thought and every ounce of emotion with them. Thats what i thought we had,but we never did. its the saddest thing to admit but you have to face the truth to heal. To look into someones eyes everyday for a year and say i love you, then in one day throw it all away doesnt make sense to me. I dont wanna play games anymore, i dont want to be around the guys trying to hook up with me. I dont want to have sex. i dont believe in having sex… i only want to make love, because making love means that the other person cares about you and wants you forever. I cant say all what i feel and its so much more than what i put on paper. but all im saying is our generation SUCKS THE BIG ONE.